Life Support
by chucksters
Summary: Michelle is diagnosed with a very serious disease. Will her family give her the love and support she needs to persevere, or will darker forces prevail? Bring your family together for this very special episode of Full House.


**Life Support**

_Michelle is diagnosed with a very serious disease. Will her family give her the love and support she needs to persevere, or will darker forces prevail? Bring your family together for this very special episode of Full House._

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><p>FEATURING: Michelle, Danny, Jesse, Joey, DJ, Stephanie and Comet.<p>

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><p>[DANNY AND MICHELLE ARE HAVING AN AWFULLY SWELL TIME PLAYING CHECKERS IN THE LIVING ROOM.]<p>

[THE PHONE RINGS- DANNY ANSWERS]

**DANNY**: Tanner residence, this is Danny! ... I see... hmmmm... I understand... Goodbye.

**MICHELLE**: Who was that, daddy?

**DANNY**: That was your pediatrician, Doctor Stankers.

**MICHELLE**: What does _he_ want? I've been eating an apple a day...

[LAUGHTER]

**DANNY**: Michelle, I have something very important to tell you. Sweetheart... you have stage-five juvenile diabetes. Your pancreas just isn't producing enough insulin and your uterus has been completely ravaged by the disease. And your brain stem is whithering away.

[LAUGHTER]

**DANNY**: Your kidneys have already shut down and dangerous levels of toxins are accumulating in your bloodstream, depriving vital organs of oxygen and rendering your motorskills ineffectual. That's probably why you're losing at checkers, Munchkin.

[DANNY CLICKS AND CLACKS A CHECKER ACROSS THE BOARD]

**DANNY**: King me!

[LAUGHTER]

[MICHELLE BEGINS TO CRY WHILE DANNY LIGHTS A LARGE CIGAR WITH MICHELLE'S BIRTH CERTIFICATE]

**DANNY**: Ahem...Joey! Jesse! DJ and Stephanie! Get your buns in here!

[EVERYBODY RUSHES INTO THE LIVING ROOM.]

**JOEY**: What's all the hub, bub?

**DANNY**: We need to divvy up Michelle's belongings. She'll be moving to a special home for dying children and she can't take anything with her. Who wants what?

**JESSE**: Hmmm... I call dibs on that pink bunny wallpaper remnant I framed for her!

**MICHELLE**: No way, José!

[LAUGHTER]

**JOEY**: I guess I could use her stuffed animals in my Ranger Joe routine.

**MICHELLE**: But those are _mine_!

**JESSE**: Correction, munchkin... They _were_ yours. Kapeesh?

[UPRORIOUS LAUGHTER]

**DJ**: I'll take her little sundresses and hair scrunchies. We're always looking for rags to soak up spilled gasoline at my Ku Klux Klan rallies.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

**DANNY**: Sorry Stephanie, but there's nothing left for you.

**STEPHANIE**: How rude!

[VERY MILD LAUGHTER- AUDIENCE MEMBER COUGHS]

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 2<strong>

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><p>[ESTABLISING SHOT OF TANNER HOUSE. A MALE ROLLER BLADER WITH SASSY PURSED LIPS, A MULLET AND A PINK MESH HALF-SHIRT SKATES BY.]<p>

[FADE TO THE LIVING ROOM WHERE MICHELLE IS PUTTING ON HER COAT AND DANNY IS HELPING HER WITH HER THINGS.]

**DANNY**: Well... I guess this is the end of the line, Michelle.

[CAR HORN HONKS]

**MICHELLE**: Is that my ride?

**DANNY**: Yes it is, kiddo. This will probably be the last time we see each other.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS. CAMERA ZOOMS IN ON TEARS WELLING UP IN MICHELLE'S EYES]

[DANNY LIGHTS ANOTHER LARGE CIGAR AND BLOWS THE SMOKE DIRECTLY INTO MICHELLE'S FUCKING FACE.]

**MICHELLE**: I just have a teeny, tiny request... May I see my beloved golden retriever, Comet, one last time before I go?

**DANNY**: No.

[DANNY HURRIES MICHELLE THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR AND CLOSES IT BEHIND HER]

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 3<strong>

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><p>[SEVERAL WEEKS HAVE GONE BY; EVERYBODY IS SITTING AT THE DINNER TABLE]<p>

**DANNY**: It sure is nice having a family meal together. Say... do you guys ever miss Michelle?

**DJ**: Michelle who?

[LAUGHTER]

**JOEY**: If I had a dime for every time I've missed Michelle... I'd have ZERO dimes! Wacka, Wacka!

[LAUGHTER]

[KITCHEN PHONE RINGS]

**DANNY**: Tanner residence, this is Danny... yes... OK... I see... Goodbye.

**STEPHANIE**: Who was that, dad?

**DANNY**: Well that was Doctor Stankers. He said the lab mixed up Michelle's blood tests. She's perfectly healthy.

**DJ**: Does that mean she's coming back home?

**DANNY**: Let's see what the dog thinks. Should Michelle come back home, Comet? Bark once for 'Yes' and twice for 'No.'

[COMET BARKS TWICE, INDICATING THAT HE DOES NOT WISH FOR MICHELLE TO RETURN HOME]

**DANNY**: Then I guess it'll be _oooour _little secret.

[PRUDENT APPLAUSE]

[A DISCO BALL DESCENDS FROM THE CIELING WHILE "EVERYBODY DANCE NOW" PLAYS AND THEY ALL START BREAKDANCING. COMET IS WEARING SUN GLASSES AND MOONWALKS ACROSS THE KITCHEN FLOOR.]

[FADE TO CREDITS]

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><p><em>If you enjoyed this story, let me know and I'll write more.<em>

-chucksters


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